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The Beauty of Being Human

Today’s blog post is a more personal one. I have had the honor and pleasure of working with some incredibly brave client’s during my time as a therapist, and though everyone has their own story, background, symptoms, goals, dreams, and setbacks, they have a few things in common, one being something I see people I know personally and professionally struggle with every day: they wonder- who am I? What defines me?

Here is the thing: we think we need to be defined by something. Or maybe we define ourselves.Maybe we were defined by someone in the past, and that has stuck with us. Whether you have a physical or mental illness, are a parent trying to fit into your new role, recently changed careers, find your marriage ending, or lost a loved one, you might be asking yourself- “who am I?” Am I now the person with cancer? The new mom who is experiencing postpartum depression? Am I the person who secretly is falling apart when everyone thinks I have it together?

You might have moments where you feel calm, in control, and others when you burst into tears. This might cause you to think- well, who am I? Am I strong, or am I weak? Am I competent, full of life and ideas, or am I (insert here: sick, lonely, confused, broken)?

You might have weeks when things are flowing- things are coming together, you are feeling better, you have a handle on things. Then, something will happen- a memory will creep in, you’ll argue with someone you love, you will feel physically unwell, have a panic attack, or several nights of disturbed sleep, and you will think- well, who I am? Do I have it together or not?

I want you to remember something. You do not need to be one thing. You are not one thing. You are everything.

So, who are you? Who can you be? You can be all of it. You can be thriving and struggling. You can have it together and be tired. You can be passionate and doubtful. You can have hope for the future, and sometimes you might not know how it will all work out.

You can be all of these things- not defined by one thing, not exempt because of another.

You are and can be all of these things. You are and can be more. You are and can be less. None of this, none of this defines you. What defines you is the fact that you are trying. What defines you is what you do to help yourself and to help others.

What defines you is the fact that you are undefinable.

And that is the beauty of all of it.

Do not define yourself by your own thoughts, diagnosis, career, financial situation, or the words someone else gave you.

Know you are undefinable, capable of change, growth, grace, and strength, and that everything you feel- the good and bad days, are part of the experience, of the beauty, of being human.

© 2018 – Laura Manderino-Martins- All rights reserved